"So, where do you cut? Full time work? Reserves? Family? Outside life? Or do we limit ourselves to lower-tier command candidates with either (1) no life, (2) no family and/or (3) no real career outside the military?"
Life: Priority of work for the Mo soldier.
#1 - Family. #2 - Civilian Job/Education #3 - Reserves. #4 - Sports/Community/Hobbies
With a calendar, pen and 9erDelta you can achieve a workable plan. This is the template I set out for my subs in managing their personal affairs.
In this we guide soldiers to plan the multiple priorities in their lives; better attendance, better morale, better troops. Instead of being overwhelmed, they're behind the 8 ball. When we plan training or an event we also get a more reliable "Yes" or "No".
Few years back, an incoming CO we had at our Res unit did something really effective, IMO. He let us know his/our priorities and expectations. Helps the Res soldier book time off work, plan with family:
Priorities for Reserve duties:
#1 - Deployment on operations (ie; Afghanistan). He expects every soldier in the unit to at least do one tour in their career; majority has done so, and of those, many have 2nd or 3rd tours.
#2 - Career Courses. One at least every 2 years, whether this be serials, weekends, block courses.
#3 - Exercises. Certain ex's are planned well ahead and attendance, if not doing #1 or #2, is required.
#4 - Instructing on courses. Whether it be unit run weekend crse or of the B class variety.
#5 - Parade nights. Expected to attend MOST parade nights (75%). Leaders expectations are higher.
#6 - Ceremonial. Quite simply; encouraged to attend and a reason like sports or hobbies are exceptable if the troop is doing the other duties.
Communicating the intent, his expectations, guidance of how to prioritise. Brilliant! And in this we solve:
Soldiers being soldiers on operations; depth and experience in the unit. Soldiers look at their individual situation and make time and space in their life for a tour on their own, knowing that is expected of them. 2nd or 3rd tours are not uncommon.
Regeneration issues. No people sitting stagnant in the ranks for a decade; those who can lead are trained and developed to take on those positions.
Parade nights are not the end all - be all. Make productive use of this time; classes, admin, preparation for Exes, morale, look aheads, interviews, so on.
Greater turn out and focus for training on Exes.
Ceremonial events still end up being well attended because morale is good.
Not dogma, just something I saw that worked.